Far-Out Friday: Spaceship Moon!

It's Friday!  My name is Kiiiiiiii..........

Wait, no.  What?

I'm going to try something fun, and write about some 'far-out' fun theory on Fridays.  Why?  Because Friday is almost the weekend, and on the weekend, things get weird. 

This week?  The Moon is a hollow spaceship theory!  Oh, you haven't heard of this, imaginary reader?  Probably because you're part of the class of people that doesn't put much stock into Aliens traveling to our little corner of the Universe with the express purpose to flux with us.  That's fine though, because today you will...  so long as you keep reading.

Return to the Night!  You've no business here!

Pictured: Cheese

The Moon, our moon, is a lunar body some 238,900 miles from the Earth, our Earth.  It is the 5th largest moon in the solar system, and the only one orbiting our third rock from the sun.  Coincidentally, it is also the only moon we know of that creates a perfect solar eclipse.  And that is pretty special, considering we know about at least 166 in our solar system.  If you include moons that orbit dwarf planets, Trans-Neptunian Objects, Trojan moons, and asteroids the number would jump to 336 classified moons. In addition to those, there have been another 150 very small objects observed within the rings of Saturn. At least one moon of Saturn(Rhea) is thought to have a moon of its own!

And out of all those moons in our local area, none of them have a perfectly circular orbit around it's planet, and is sized and spaced perfectly enough to blot out the sun.  But how did it come to be?  How did it get there, placed ever so perfectly?

“What in blazes is our Moon doing way out there? It’s too far out to be a true satellite of Earth, it is too big to have been captured by the Earth. The chances of such a capture having been effected and the Moon then having taken up a nearly circular orbit about the Earth are too small to make such an eventuality credible. . . . But, then, if the Moon is neither a true satellite of the Earth nor a captured one, what is it?”

– Isaac Asimov

Father of Science Fiction pondering Science Fact

There are a few theories on how the moon formed, none of which as as cool as it being a space ship.  "Science" thinks it may have happened by a process called, "capture."  The capture theory proposes that the Moon was captured by the gravitational pull of the Earth, like the moon was just cruising along on it's way to Venus, and Earth was like, "Slow down baby!  Why don't you ditch the zero and get with a hero?" And the moon was all, "Oh you Brute!  *swoon*"  But that's not how the Earth rolls.  If something gets close to us, it's all or nothing.  Either it slams into us (sorry Dinosaurs) or it get shot in a different direction (sorry Planet 0584965 in about 4.2 light years)

Another awesome theory is the "Giant Impact" theory, which is exactly what it sounds like.  Some big ass something (which scientists have named 'Theia' and would have been about the size of Mars) hit another big ass something (which scientists have named 'Earth' and would have been roughly the size of Earth) and the resulting impact basically created the massive chunk that became our Moon.  This has been the most widely accepted theory until about 2011, when the most precise measurement yet of the isotopic signatures of lunar rocks was published and discovered that the Apollo lunar samples carried an isotopic signature identical to Earth rocks, but different from other Solar system bodies.  Meaning that Theia couldn't have been the Moon baby daddy.

Off screen is Theia jumping around like a jackass.

So science is no closer to figuring out where the Moon came from.  But you know what's really surprising?  The Earth is around 4.5 billion years old, which most of us can agree is probably true, because science, but the theory suggests that the moon is WAY older than that.  Maybe even older than our Sun.  We're talking 5.3 billion years old, based on some Moon rocks, and the dust upon which they were resting is maybe even at least another billion years older.  That's impossible, right?  Our solar system wasn't even around then, much less our planet!  That's where the space ship theory really starts to get interesting.

Take a look at the surface of our moon.  What do you see?

Besides the obvious need for Clearasil

It is absolutely covered in impact markings.  This Moon has been pounded more than your mom, and has a face so messed up it looks like your mom.  Your mom is so fat, she's the moon.  What was I saying?  Oh yeah, the moon has been rocked by impact, WAY more than it's dancing partner the Earth.  And yes, most of the things that would hit the Earth burn up in our atmosphere, that's true, but those marks indicate some pretty big shots it's taken, never mind the quantity.  And look a little closer, something is off about those craters...

The crater bottoms are convex instead of concave.  As if there is something under the surface, something hard. The picture below has been enhanced to give you a better idea of what that shape looks like.

The moon when viewed on LSD

This picture seems to clearly show a smooth, round object under the dust and debris on the Moon, right?  As if space rocks and space junk would hit the moon, and then bounce off, leaving a trace of guts on the windshield.  Well, the theory suggests that the amount of impacts is due to the movement of the Moon, and not the orbit it's been enjoying on Earth's dime.  But movement from somewhere else to get to here.  That round, smooth object?  The hull of a space shitp.

"Wait a second," I hear you imaginarily interject into my fool proof theory, "The moon is made of rock, we've been there, we brought rocks back. You're as stupid as you are handsome."  And that's

Like, woah man.

true, I am stupidly handsome, but let's talk about the rocks a bit more.  The picture to the right is the Earth when viewed on LSD.  Notice how 'rocky' it looks, for lack of a better word.  You can tell this place was made by millions of years of violent volcanic activity.  Compare that to the above Moon picture, and think how such a perfectly smooth object could erupt from the fiery mass of death that was the Earth.  Doesn't seem quite as logical now, huh?  But a round spaceship, created to travel the galaxy and repel oncoming space trash no matter what direction it was flying?  Now who's a crazy person?

But perhaps the most interesting "Moon is a Space Ship" evidence that has been presented is the fact the moon "rings like a bell."  A lot of these points can be shrugged off and poo-pooed, but even NASA can't deny that the Moon can carry a tune.  These 'Moonquakes' are of unknown origin, and can last for several hours, but it's been confirmed that we can make them happen.  When the Apollo 12 crew jettisoned the lunar module ascent stage on November 20, 1969, it crashed onto the Moon and reverberated, "like a gong."  The resulting reverberation lasted more than an hour.  But what does that mean? 

“If the astronomical data are reduced, it is found that the data require that the interior of the Moon is more like a hollow than a homogeneous sphere.”

 -Dr. Gordon MacDonald, NASA Scientist

Nobel chemist Dr. Harold Urey suggested the Moon’s reduced density is because of large areas inside the Moon where there is “simply a cavity.”  Empty.  Hollow.

 “A natural satellite cannot be a hollow object.”

 - Carl Sagan, "Intelligent Life in the Universe"

So is the Moon not a natural satellite at all?  Did it really come from somewhere else?  If so, when?

Greek authors Aristotle and Plitarch, as well as a few Roman authors like Rhodius and Ovid, wrote of a group of people called the Proselenes.  These Proselenes lived in the mountains of Greece called, Arcadia (you've probably heard that name, I know you've been lost since 'Aristotle.'  It's okay, me too.)  The Proselenes peoples claimed that their ancestors lay claim to that land from "before there was a moon in the heavens."  But that doesn't make any sense, the Moon's been there WAY before humanity... right?

The ruins of Tiahuanaco claim that Luna (that's our moon, I know I'm late actually naming it) wasn't always our moon.  In fact, there was another, smaller moon that circled our planet at a much faster rate, actually rising in the west and setting in the east, much like Mars' moon, Phobos.  And sometime around 12,000 years ago, that moon wandered off, and our current moon showed up....

Hollow moon, crazy orbit, smooth surface, old, appearing randomly...  All the makings of a good Far-Out Friday post!  But, as another far-out person I once knew would say, "What about this?"  Is the moon just that, a rocky natural satellite orbiting our insignificant world?  Probably.  But what if, what if, it wasn't?  What if it was the last of a dying race, a race of supermen?  Is that why we're so much more advanced than the rest of the creatures on this world?  What if it was an ark, carrying the last of it's peoples?  Or an expidition to make contact, and something went wrong?  Maybe it's doing exactly as it was designed to do, watching...

Alderaan was just a warning.

Why has man always dreamed of going to the moon... perhaps, returning?  Why did we stop going?

When will we go back?